100 Word Challenge #39
Prompt: ….I’m exhausted. Shut the door behind you….
Those Who Fail
“I’m exhausted.”
“Shut the door behind you.”
“What?” he says. The rain outside makes everything seem too close. The house feels like a womb.
“I need you to leave,” I say.
“I’m not going anywhere until we’ve fixed this.” He is a knight, a hero. Why now? Why not before?
“I’ve had enough,” I say, “It’s over.”
“Like last time?”
His bitterness is the rust that creeps at the edges of our relationship. I look away, and suddenly he is leaning forward, his hand on mine.
“Look, we can work it out,” he says.
The rain falls silent, and for one dizzying moment I believe him.
Simon John Cox 
Welcome to the 100WCGU!
Love 'the rust that creeps' line. Look forward to more from you in future…..
Thanks for telling me about it! It looks like a good way of exercising the ol' writing muscles.
No wonder you got published! Last line teeters on the 'precipice of tears' … ;)
Yes, I loved the 'rust' line too. Excellent portrayal of a relationship in crisis. Great one.
for one dizzying moment…creating the disequilibrium that keeps them spinning together…wonderful writing!
I was also going to comment on the “bitterness is the rust” line. Very effective piece!
Hello & welcome to 100WCGU! I'm SO glad you found us because this is just a super piece to read. As others have said – that rust is brilliant! I would love it to have a really happy ending but that is for another piece!
Welcome to 100WCGU.
A great story.
So much said about this doomed relationship in just 100 words.