100 Word Challenge #39
Prompt: ….I’m exhausted. Shut the door behind you….
Those Who Fail
“Shut the door behind you.”
“What?” he says. The rain outside makes everything seem too close. The house feels like a womb.
“I need you to leave,” I say.
“I’m not going anywhere until we’ve fixed this.” He is a knight, a hero. Why now? Why not before?
“I’ve had enough,” I say, “It’s over.”
“Like last time?”
His bitterness is the rust that creeps at the edges of our relationship. I look away, and suddenly he is leaning forward, his hand on mine.
“Look, we can work it out,” he says.
The rain falls silent, and for one dizzying moment I believe him.
8 thoughts on “100WC #39 – Those Who Fail”
Welcome to the 100WCGU!
Love 'the rust that creeps' line. Look forward to more from you in future…..
Thanks for telling me about it! It looks like a good way of exercising the ol' writing muscles.
No wonder you got published! Last line teeters on the 'precipice of tears' … ;)
Yes, I loved the 'rust' line too. Excellent portrayal of a relationship in crisis. Great one.
for one dizzying moment…creating the disequilibrium that keeps them spinning together…wonderful writing!
I was also going to comment on the “bitterness is the rust” line. Very effective piece!
Hello & welcome to 100WCGU! I'm SO glad you found us because this is just a super piece to read. As others have said – that rust is brilliant! I would love it to have a really happy ending but that is for another piece!
Welcome to 100WCGU.
A great story.
So much said about this doomed relationship in just 100 words.